hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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