John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Help. Why am I so naked?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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