I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
