Don't you send me to vm
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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