So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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