just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
