Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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