So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
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With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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