I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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