Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
