It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize