Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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