4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
