I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize