dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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