I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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