i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
