I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
as a side note pls kill me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
