So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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