so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
