You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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