My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
