we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
