Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
