I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
