I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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