Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
