I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
