Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
