It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
