They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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