I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
