even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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