why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
