At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
