Pappa wants mamma naked
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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