You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
