you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just pee around me
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I need a beard to bite.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize