Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
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I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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