Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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