You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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