Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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