Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm getting married
To pizza
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
