youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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