College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
