did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
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