You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
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There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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