Can i not drive my cunt home
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
