So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
