She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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