I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
