when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
