i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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