Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
