We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
