My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
