I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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