your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
